How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
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