ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
