At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
