well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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