Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I am naked and annoyed.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
