it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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