He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
