I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
