Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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