this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
