thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
