she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
