woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
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