I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
