Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
This gyro tastes like lonliness
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
