worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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