haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
