I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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