He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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