I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
