I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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