You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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