you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
We had sex on a dog bed..
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
