She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
