he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
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