So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
