I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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