You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Randomize
