I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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