wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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