He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize