Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
