this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
