i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
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