Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
he was CRYING into my vagina
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
