you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
