im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
