the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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