Having a random hookup so left but love u
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
