Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
His nipple licking is glorious
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