I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
