yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
We left an ass print on the piano.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
