4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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