no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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