so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Randomize
