Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize