Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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