as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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