I am puke
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
