I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
