Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
