you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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