Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Randomize
