dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Randomize
