pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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