and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
