I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
