They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
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We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Vodka?
Forever.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
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how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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