he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Randomize
