I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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