I just gift wrapped bread.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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