she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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