In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
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I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
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I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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