my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Houston, we have a squirter
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize