At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
