I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
