i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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