No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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