I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
