I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Panties = found
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
