See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
