So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
