i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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